An Unimpressive Story

A couple of years ago, I had a little misshap down an unlit country lane in the UK. It was a bit of an unpleasant experience, yet when I related this story to a Finnish friend shortly afterwards, I received no sympathy.

The story is as follows....

It was a cold winter night, and I was driving down a dark lane near where I live, looking for a small turn-off into an even smaller wooded lane. Suddenly, I realised I had just missed the turn-off, so decided to do a U-turn.

However, I had not realised that some large wooden telegraph poles had been laid down along the side of the lane, presumably to prevent people from parking there. As I perfomed my 3-point turn, one of the wooden poles became lodged under my car, preventing me from moving forwards or backwards. I was now stuck in this dark country lane, unable to see the extent of the problem or do anything about it.

Eventually, after quite a while, another car came down the lane, and with much effort (the pole was very firmly wedged), we managed to get my car on the road again. Thankfully the car was not damaged.

Admitedly, it's not really a wild and scary story, but consider this: it was dark and cold, and I could have been stuck there for a long time. On top of that, my car could have been severely damaged, resulting in huge repair costs. In other words, it wasn't an enjoyable experience. At all.

Anyhow, I was telling this story to a Finnish friend, essentially looking for a modicum of sympathy for my plight. After listening carefully, the Finn asked:

- How far were you from the nearest house?
- Dunno, maybe half a mile...
- How cold was it?
- Normal UK winter weather, slightly above freezing.
- Were there any dangerous animals around?
- Of course not, this is the UK!!

The Finn then delivered the killer blow to my sympathy-seeking:

- So where's the story?

Darn, it's just so hard to impress Finns with tales of hardship.

Next time I tell this story, I will be 50 miles from the nearest house, the temperature will be -20c and the woods will be full of hungry wolves and bears. Oh, and I will have completely run out of beer.

That'll show 'em!