10 Useless Facts about Finland

In the past couple of weeks, my social media inlets [is that the word for the SoMe equivalent of an inbox?] seem to have been filled with an unusually high number of, well, numbered lists. You know the kind that go: "5, 10 or 20 [useless] things you need to know, do, avoid, see, read or have, now or before you die".

I figured it was time for me to contribute a trivial and pointless list of my own – about Finnish things, obviously.

Almost Sisu

Finns are rightly proud of their long tradition of perseverance in the face of overwhelming challenges. This courage and determination is so much part of their character, that Finns even have a word for it: sisu.

Silly foreigners like me don’t always quite appreciate what qualifies as sisu though, as the following anecdote illustrates.

An Unfortunate Loss

This week, the winter returned with a vengeance in the UK. Temperatures have plummeted, and the weather forecasters are getting ready to roll out the hyperbolical meteorological clichés (Arctic conditions, Siberian winds, etc.). It was actually +2C/36F in Southern England today, but then what do Brits know about cold, huh?

Anyhow, for some unknown reason, I was reminded today of an anecdote involving my early fumblings with the Finnish language.

Same Procedure As Last Year?

New Year's celebrations are over for another year. And so is the broadcast on TV of one of the most successful piece of British comedy ever. You know... The sketch that has been shown on TV over 250 times since it was first broadcast. No, not Monty Python's "parrot sketch"... The one starring the British actors Freddie Frinton and May Warden...

My guess is, if you are from the UK, the US or virtually anywhere in the world, you have no idea what I am on about. Freddie who?

A Weird Food Passion

There are two things I bring back from Finland on a regular basis. There's the amazing Fazer chocolates – no surprise there. And there's leipäjuusto.

For the uninitiated, leipäjuusto is cheese, but not as we know it, as Spock might have said. Had he visited Finland. And tried leipäjuusto. And felt the urge to comment on it.

The Tailor Began with a Button

A couple of weeks back, my friend Simo forwarded an email to me that had me smiling and frustrated in equal measure.

The email contained a short Finnish text with a series of word plays, which I thought were rather clever – that was the smiley bit. However, as I reached repeatedly for the dictionary to try and decipher the text, I also realised how far I was from ever understanding Finnish – and that was the seriously frustrating bit.

Lack of Future Shapes Finns' Behaviour

Over a year ago, I wrote a blog-post about the fact that the Finnish language lacks a future tense. In that post, I contrasted this with French, which has 3 future tenses, and asked mischievously: "What does that say about the respective nations' attitude to life?"

Well, it turns out that it might indeed say a lot, if a recent piece of research by an American economics professor is to be believed.

Short Story: Summer Lovin'

The website "What's Up Finland?" organised a short story competition recently. The theme was "the Finnish summer" and the story had to have "at least one Finnish character and have some understanding or a view of the Finnish culture".

I had never written a short story in my life, but I thought I would give it a go. So here it is: my very first short story.

Breaking Wind Lappish Style

A few years ago, while on a summer holiday in Lapland, I went on a one-day guided cycle tour in the countryside around the small "town" of Inari.

At lunchtime, we stopped at a small cafe in the town centre. To my surprise, we left the expensive mountain bikes outside the cafe, unlocked. Our guide, Ate, explained that no one locked anything in Lapland as theft was very rare. He then proceeded to tell us a hilarious story about the pitfalls leaving vehicles unlocked.